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  • All Thumbs

    I am all thumbs. I am struggling, fumbling physically, and I do not want to be. I do not want my pinky and ring fingers to be curled into a bird-like claw. I do not want this to be my life. I want to be young and bea…

  • Note to Self...

    Just because YOU are pretending not to have rheumatoid arthritis... Does not mean it is pretending not to have YOU. Ugh.

  • Headcase

    I was recently proclaiming the virtues of this once-a-day migraine medicine I take. I used to have the kind of migraines that had me begging Christ for mercy; that had me writhing on the cool tile of the kitchen floor, …

  • The Referendum

    I keep forgetting to give myself my medicine. Taking this particular medication involves sticking a syringe in my leg. No wonder I keep "forgetting."So I am going to China next week. I wasn't kidding when I said that …

  • Cleaning House -- Epilogue

    I met Frederic for lunch yesterday. In a post juice-fast world, we were both sort of jonesing for nasty vegetable juice."Where are we going to get it?" I said, glancing around furtively. Like we were looking for smack.…

  • Cleaning House -- Parts II & III

    The cleanse got tougher, but Frederic and I stuck it out.At the end of the first night, my blackberry was blinking with an email from him that said, "I am so hungry." He eventually settled on some tea. I think, between…

  • Cleaning House -- Part I

    I am almost through Day 1 of a three-part master cleanse. It is only mildly unpleasant. I had been toying with the idea for a while, and been investigating the various options (i.e., the lemonade cleanse, which I had d…

  • Range of Motion

    I do yoga -- reflexively, almost compulsively -- to maintain this sort of inner calm, and to maintain some semblance of flexibility that I feel slipping away from me.All my life, I have been excessively flexible, to the …

  • Transitive Property

    For the what seemed like the nine hundredth time in my life, I spent last night in the emergency room. Not really worth going into, but for the preliminary diagnosis of appendicitis, they had to do a pelvic exam. Halfw…

  • Conscious Consumption

    I went to the tailor on Saturday. The tailor knows me by name, and hates me. She gave me an angry sigh and pointed to the size tag inside my pants and said, "THIS IS NOT YOUR SIZE! Stop buying this size!""I know," I sa…

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